Mother. Mom. Mommy. Mama. All words I love to hear called out to me from my kids. The transition to motherhood has been amazing, albeit a difficult one. Nothing can truly prepare you for the role and weight of responsibility you feel upon having a child. While I've had my share of overwhelming moments (and I'm sure many more to come), nothing can take me away from being a mom. In fact, it's during those "small" and seemingly insignificant parts of my day that bring the most opportunities for teaching the little ones around me.
Through repeated offenses of spilled cereal & milk, I can teach patience and self-awareness. Through episodes of tantrums and screaming, I can teach self-control and gentleness. Through moments of delight at seeing birds on our fence, hearing an airplane in the sky, or waving at the garbage truck driver, I can teach thankfulness and joy in all things. If my mothering were limited to 5-6 hours per day...or every other day...I would miss so many shared memories and opportunities in their lives.
I stumbled upon this article on yahoo the other day. I couldn't believe what I was reading. It absolutely devastated me. During a 6 month research trip to Japan, this mother of 2 decided that her life wasn't what she wanted anymore. She didn't even want kids. She had neglected herself and her desires for too long. So she came back, divorced her husband, gave up full custody and pursued writing. Her kids were ages 5 and 3.
There are many reasons why my heart breaks for this woman. I believe that our role as mothers is invaluable. The Bible calls us "to love our husbands and our children, be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to our husbands...."--titus 2:4 I'm not saying this is easy. I'm not saying that I don't get overwhelmed. I'm definitely not saying that I possess all of the above character traits all the time. What I am saying is that motherhood is costly. It requires much of us and demands that we are 100% involved in our child's life. I am called to love my children. I can see how she might have been tempted to think running away was the best answer, but I think she's wrong. I think those boys need their mother around all the time. I think God created us as mothers to be a constant speaking voice into their lives. And, most importantly, I believe that's why we need a personal relationship with Jesus. There's no way I can do this motherhood thing on my own. I need His love to pour through me and give me strength. I need guidance. I need assurance that this world isn't the end. I need grace.
I pray that a single decision like this doesn't evoke similar responses. I fear that our culture places such a high value on one's "self" that we neglect to remember the affect our decisions have on others. Motherhood doesn't need to be redefined. It needs to be redeemed.
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Lovely, lovely post. I couldn't agree more. Motherhood is the most difficult job on the planet, but it's also the most rewarding. We owe it to our children to do our very best we can raising them. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteMakes me sad. Sad that people react like that is normal. That our society is judgmental because we feel its the womans place to be home raising, nurturing and loving on her children. I know the day will come with sleepless nights, crazy days, and "those" moments, but I cant wait to be worn down and brought right back up by my future kids.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said. Your children are so blessed to have you!
ReplyDeleteThis is SO sad! She says her "Kids are fine. They're not traumatized." What child wouldn't be traumatized hearing their mother say publically "I never wanted kids"?
ReplyDeleteI guess "dying to yourself" would be the Christianese term for this self-denial they so villainize. I guess it IS an awful thought if you don't have a savior to give you life...
It's devastating, too, that stat from the moms who watch the show-- 28% would do likewise and leave their kids.
The psychiatrist said that people tend to be judgmental. In the same way that MLK was judgmental of racism, and Corrie Ten Boom was judgmental of genocide, I think it's GOOD to be judgmental of abandoning your marriage and children in pursuit of the self. It means we're not numb to tragedy!
She has to be so eloquent and composed as she gives an apologetic for her decision; I wonder how she, her ex-husband, and kids feel about her decision when the cameras aren't on.
This world is BROKEN.
I, too, had a friend who was a pastor's wife and one day just left. She said it was too hard and not what she wanted at all. She left her two children and her husband and never looked back. The children were young 3 & 1 - their trama has been slow growing but it is there. We can't let ourselves be fooled by thinking they will be fine when they lose their God-given pastor, care-giver, educator, booboo kisser, dance partner, encourager, etc. I am praying she becomes acquaited with with our mighty Jesus and returns to her children to shower healing love all over them!
ReplyDeleteKyra,
ReplyDeleteMy Bible version states "work IN the home" not "at" home. What version are you using? I seriously cannot IMAGINE walking away from my kids, even when they are driving me nuts; hopefully she will realize what a mistake she made before it is too late.
thanks everyone for the encouragement!
ReplyDelete@Keri...I'm pretty sure this was the ESV or the NASB. what do you use?