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Chanski writes that women need to know our position and play it with a "win it" attitude (p. 48). Why don't we do that? Because we get sucked into believing lies. He writes,
"The enemy [Satan] is determined to get you to spurn your God-assigned mandate...He's bent on getting you to trade in your dominion mindset for a victimization mindset. He wants you to think: "God has given me the short-end-of-the-stick, and I'm not going to take it anymore" (p.48-49, italics mine)Ouch. Gotta admit that there are many times I have this attitude. It especially comes when I have 3 screaming children, a dirty house, laundry piled up to the ceiling...and I've locked my keys in the car. We want to shout "I don't deserve this! I deserve something better, more sophisticated, something else!" Maybe we do shout it out. Either way, it's definitely not playing my role that God has given me: to love my husband, to have joy or peace or patience and to love my children. Instead, it's telling God that His plan for my role is weak, wrong & worthless. But I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in these thoughts/feelings.
Do you agree? What's your "short-end-of-the-stick"? What lie makes you believe that you are the victim in your world?
..."He's bent on getting you to trade in your dominion mindset for a victimization mindset"... this comment really stood out to me. It's that fatal trap of focusing on what we don't have or the "if-only-I-had"'s instead of what we do have. Sometimes it's easy to look at my role of "restoring order" to our home, whether it be tidying up the kitchen, doing the dishes, or refereeing my squabbling children, and resent that this is the "place" I've been allotted, instead of looking at it as my sphere of influence. This is the place where I get to help shape the attitudes my children have toward life, service, and family. This is my opportunity to contribute to providing a place of love & security for my children and a place of sanctuary and homecoming for my husband. This is my opportunity to help connect my children to the living God, and help them begin to touch the lives around them, and set their feet on the path the Lord sets before them. When you look at it like that, it's a rather amazing role to be given. It's a gift and a privilege.
ReplyDeleteWhy IS THIS? And, usually those of us who are feeling short-end-of-the-stick-ish really don't have it so bad at all. Speaking for myself, I am usually sitting in my lovely, comfortable home (on my new computer with fast internet), with my beautiful, healthy children running around. Yet, these lies I am so willing to believe always seem the clearest. I love the blog post from FeminaGirls: Nancy is talking about a missionary who was hung upside down in a cave for his faith...his wife had to serve him his meals there and she would bring him his books so he could study. She talked about how her Godly mother-in-law reminded her that she had a congregation of 3 (her three children) at home and to get to the work the Lord had given her...
ReplyDeleteI felt encouraged.
http://www.feminagirls.com/2011/07/26/heart-tenderizing-words/
I struggle with feeling like I am getting the short-end-of-the-stick every time Alan is gone again, or working ridiculous 21 hour days. I can easily throw together a big ol' pity party thinking, "I did not sign up for single parenting and being alone." It drains me of my joy and contentment as a wife and mom. Just what Satan wants! And when that happens, I am not reflecting God's glory to my family or others. My strength comes from the Lord. He promises to fulfill our needs and uphold us. "Come to me all who weary or heavy laden..." How I handle times of what's-difficult-for-us teaches my kids about God's character. Throwing a pity party definitely doesn't honor Him!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your input, ladies. Your words are all SO true. I so often overlook my role as a wife & mom instead of valuing it as a gift & privilege. That's why understanding the gospel of grace is so freeing!! God knows we need constant reminders & refreshers...
ReplyDeleteOh, my short-end-of-the-stick was today at the park with 2 kids running in different, high up directions and two full diapers and a stick in my foot. If I'm honest - it was all before that - I came in with a bad attitude, I left with a comical hands in the air - that wasn't so bad - attitude. I think my "S-E-O-T-S" attitude is something I put out there in front of me as a protective sheild instead of standing out vulnerabley prepared to learn, live and feel what God has to teach me through these situations. I appreciate this post, Kyra. My focus needs to start out focusing on the gospel of grace and cry out to God for guidance in those times I'm wiped and feeling entitled to "more than this" and then wait for Him.
ReplyDelete