We had a major breakthrough in our marriage on Sunday night. We will forever be changed. Let me back up and tell you what led us to this accomplishment!
We spent the whole weekend in Tahoe with other staff leaders and friends from the Bay Area. Pat & Tammi McCloud from Boston Catalytic led our team through a collaborative marriage course that focuses on Communication and Listening. It was such a great time. I've seen the materials before on summer projects with Crusade, but never really practiced actual conflicts that Dave and I were having.
The goal is to use this tool enough that it just becomes part of your normal language and not so formulaic and formal. I must admit, it feels slightly awkward initially---but as we stuck to it, I greatly saw the benefits! Another fabulous thing about this framework is that you can use it for anything that is an issue: from minor things like "should I work out more?" to big things like roles in marriage, huge decisions coming up, etc.
Okay, so here was one of our issues: Syncing our calendars. We've never done it. And now that Dave is a director and the kids are starting to have dentist, doctor, play appts....it gets confusing. So...we walked through the issue and learned about each other and then made an actual goal.
The result: All our calendars are synced and automatically updated. 2 computers & 2 phones with 5 schedules. I love it. The best part? When one of us makes a change to our calendar, it automatically pops up in the others. Ahh!! True bliss, I tell you.
I can't wait to have more fights now. just kidding.
Hey Kyra, What is the material? I'd love to check it out. We can always use some good issue fixers. :)
ReplyDeleteI am right there with Cara. Josh and I have seen each other for like five minutes the past month. I seriously feel like a single mom because our schedules are so opposite. We both do old school calendars (paper versions) so when I make appointments with clients I never know if he is going to be home or not. Therefore I miss him half the nights he is home. Boo! Anyway, no need to ramble, just wanting to know what you guys are using. Sounds great! One battle at a time...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad we're not the only ones who have issues :) We went through the Awareness Wheel with the Listening Cycle. It's a more intense version of the wheel at the top of the blog. this website looks like it talks a lot about it: http://www.primarygoals.org/Books/CoreCommunicationSkillAndProcesses.htm
ReplyDeleteJenni...we both have Macs & Iphones so we're using the 60 day free trial of mobileme. It's incredible...and you can sync with PC or mac. The cost (post-trial) is an annual fee of $99. We wanted to test it first and make sure we use it. But for less than 10/month...it might be worth it. And, you can set up a website with it (.com).
Thanks Kyra! I am looking into it NOW! :o)
ReplyDeletei want to talk more about this...amazing! you are one smart women over there I tell ya!
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