Where's my switch?

I'm reading through a book with some women from my church.  The first chapter asks us to look at the passage and focus on an area of growth that we see in ourselves.  Then, it challenges us to ask our husbands which one they think we need to change. 

As I'm reading through the list of wifely characteristics...there is no doubt that I need help with self-control.  I'm willing to bet a lot on the fact that Dave agrees.   A few nights ago, I had the chance to test him out: 'ol Newylwed game style.  BINGO.  He nails it.  

Actually, what he really does for me is not only agree that it's self-control but helps point out his observations about the process that leads to me "losing it". 

I want a switch. I need a switch to pull when things are too stressful, kids are too demanding, my thought-life too condemning, and my mind running away too quickly.  I want a switch that suddenly turns my pent-up anger into roses & sunshine.  Turn off that ugly anger and turn on the love.

 Where's my switch?? 

It doesn't work like that.  The whole point of self-control (especially for anger) is to be able to guard my mind before it even starts the slippery slope of no return.  I need to identify triggers in my mind (negative self-talk, bitterness, etc) that eventually take me to Angerland.  If I had more control over all of my thoughts, the places where they'd take me should end up at the cross: grace, truth, freedom, love. 

I want my mind so full of Jesus and His characteristics, that when I'm tempted to follow the trail of ugly and lose all control....I turn around. I run back to Jesus. I take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and surrender immediately.  

So I'm starting a journey to reclaim my mind and allow the Lord to be my switch. If it's like Him, great. If not, trash it.  

I'm praying the result will be more self-control... less loose cannon.